


wrapped in dreams and filled with love

by charleia (orphan_account)



Category: Ratched (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:47:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26650033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/charleia
Summary: She remembers how Gwendolyn had made love to her for the first time, how patient and loving she was with Mildred being so nervous and inexperienced. Gwendolyn had held her, murmuring sweet reassuring words, every touch deliberate and laced with affection unlike everything she had experienced before. Never before had Mildred dared to bare her soul in front of anyone. Never once had Mildred dared to love, not after everything that the world had done to her.
Relationships: Gwendolyn Briggs/Mildred Ratched
Comments: 10
Kudos: 87





	wrapped in dreams and filled with love

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey this was a request do not hurt me in the comments :)

Heaven is crying, no-  _ sobbing _ , unforgivingly pouring down its tears onto earth.

It’s a cliché, Mildred thinks. Such a cliché to have a sad occasion paired with the rain. With a sigh, she stares down at her feet. Her usually pristine heels are covered in mud. For once, she doesn’t care. For once, she lets it be. Such trivial things, Mildred is no longer concerned with them. She is no longer concerned with anything, if she were honest. She stopped caring a long time ago.

With a sigh, she sits down on the grass. Her hair is down, instead of being neatly tied up, she’s wearing leisure clothes, her face is void of any makeup. For a moment she is just herself, not Mildred Ratched, Head nurse of Lucia State Hospital. Just herself. Just Mildred. Millie. As she closes her eyes, she lets her thoughts wander.

She thinks about Gwendolyn, she remembers how they met, in the nurses canteen. Oh, she had found her interesting. Her curious blue eyes, the kind look she gave her, the soft smile. Mildred hadn’t known it back then but she was going to fall for this woman. Though every fibre of her being had rejected the idea of ever being with a woman, she had felt something that day, and even though she tried to stop it, that tiny something would bloom into something bigger than much herself.

Her thoughts wander off to their first kiss. Mildred had done a lot of things that weren’t okay. She wasn’t sure why Gwendolyn had forgiven her, she didn’t feel like she had deserved that whatsoever. She didn’t feel worthy of Gwendolyn’s love or kindness but still, Gwendolyn gave her an abundance of both. Gwendolyn had been so sweet when she had kissed her. She had been so loving, so affectionate. 

Gwendolyn was always affectionate. You wouldn’t be able to tell. No, she reserved that softness for special people. Mildred was honoured to be one of them and in return, Mildred had devoted herself to Gwendolyn as well.

She remembers how Gwendolyn had made love to her for the first time, how patient and loving she was with Mildred being so nervous and inexperienced. Gwendolyn had held her, murmuring sweet reassuring words, every touch deliberate and laced with affection unlike everything she had experienced before. Never before had Mildred dared to bare her soul in front of anyone. Never once had Mildred dared to  _ love _ , not after everything that the world had done to her. Gwendolyn understood all of this, had taken small little steps, making sure to never ever cross Mildred’s boundaries. It brings a small smile to Mildred’s lips as she recalls how gwendolyn had held her afterwards, fingers brushing through her hair, peppering kisses all over her face and whispering loving words. At that moment, it was just the two of them, nothing else to disturb them. No Edmund, no illness, no nothing.

Things had seemed alright back then. The only thing, their only care in the world was that illness. That goddamn illness that ruined everything. Gwendolyn had been frightened, but as frightened as she was, Mildred was hopeful. They would find someone to cure her. 

They had set off to Mexico in pursuit of the perfect doctor. Though it had taken a while, Mildred would not have been Mildred if she hadn’t given it her all. And so, finally, Gwendolyn started to improve. Mistletoe, was what they’d given her. Mildred had no idea what it was, but it had saved the woman she loved dearly so did it really matter?

With Gwendolyn getting better and better, the two lived out their days in a small home in Mexico, hidden away from sight, remote from everyone and everything. Mildred has such fond memories of this time, cooking together, reading books beside the pool together, being able to kiss one another, touch one another, make love to one another without the judging eyes from others. 

Life was good then.

She remembers their last night together. She hadn’t known it back then, that it would be their last time. Though Gwendolyn had made love to her so fiercely, so affectionately, it almost seemed as if she did know. Gwendolyn had held her so closely, bodies pressed flush together, she had kissed her, over and over, on her lips, down her neck, down her chest and stomach. The rose tinted memory still makes Mildred cheeks red hot and her heart makes a flutter. It was one of the last memories they got to create together.

It had happened at an unguarded moment. 

Mildred and Gwendolyn were set to celebrate their anniversary with a little ceremony. Marriage hadn’t been an option, but they didn’t necessarily care about that. They had had a small party at one of the beaches in Mexico. As the sun sank into the ocean, Mildred and Gwendolyn danced together, heads pressed together, arms wrapped around one another, exchanging soft smiles and sweet kisses. About as bold as Mildred dared to be out in the open with other people present.

It had all happened so quickly. Edmund had found them. She didn’t know how, she still does not know how to this day. Edmund had found them and he had attacked, taking her dear Gwendolyn away from her. Without one semblance of conscience. Like the cold blooded monster that he is.

Mildred shakes her head to rid herself from the thoughts, the way she had held Gwendolyn in her arms, the way she had desperately tried to stop the bleeding, the way she had cried and screamed for Gwendolyn to hold on, to please not leave her. She pushes the thoughts away and forces herself to think of the happy moments they shared.

She can’t do it. 

Tears flooded down Mildred’s cheeks. She missed her. She needed her. However could she live without her? She didn’t know. 

But there was one thing she did know.

Determinedly, she drags herself off the ground, touching her hand to her lips before touching upon Gwendolyn’s gravestone. She sighs, eyes directed skyward as she lets the rain fall onto her face. 

“I will avenge him, my love,” she says, “I promise you that.”


End file.
